Tuesday, 12 August 2014
Where were we?
Oh yes, IUGR, fluid, growth scan. We went for the scan and Pod is GROWING! Best news ever. She's measuring just fine, totally average, which is rad. So no IUGR at the moment (although I have to have another "growth and well-being" scan 10 days from now), and no major cause for concern. That was a stressful week - obviously I read the entire internet and all the papers I could find, trying to figure out where I went wrong and what the possible causes and outcomes could be, how we would cope if Pod was disabled physically or mentally or both. The internet didn't help with the last part, but HN1 and I talked about it which we hadn't done before, and decided we would all be just fine so long as Pod made it to the outside.
She is still facing the "wrong" way (seems alright to me, maybe she doesn't fancy hanging out upside down until her birthday), which means we have some other decisions to make. My fluid levels are right on the low end of what's considered NORMAL, which might mean it's harder for her to turn on her own and might make an ECV impossible.
I think she likes being head up. Sometimes her legs are straight, bent at the hip with her feet by her face, sometimes her legs are down and she dances on my cervix and bladder, sometimes she lies across me. But her head is always above and to the right of my tummy button. She must like it there (unless her upper body is stuck, but we won't dwell on that).
Yesterday I had the follow up to the growth scan and saw a different obstetrician. It was an altogether disappointing appointment.
"Oh. I see you're planning a home birth" (looking appalled). "You do realise that home birth is not supported by the Royal Australian College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists?"
I tuned out for a while, wasn't up for a lecture ESPECIALLY since we made an informed choice after a lot of research and thinking, plus I shouldn't have to defend my choices at my back up hospital. Home birth is supported enough that there's a government programme and I'm part of it. I trust my midwives, and I trust my body.
She assumed we'd be going ahead with an ECV without discussing the risks or likelihood of it working (50% at this hospital apparently, although I know for a fact it's less likely to work for first babies, when you have tight abs, when there is low fluid and when the baby has its feet dangling in the pelvis. So less than 50% for us given that I tick all those boxes, which she wouldn't tell me. I asked if we went ahead with an ECV and it was successful, would be be back to home birth provided the baby remains head down... She told me I should come to the hospital anyway in that case. Erm, why? Surely it becomes a "normal" delivery? I'll ask my midwife on Friday but I'm pretty sure the obstetrician's response had more to do with her personal feelings about home birth than anything else. So then I asked what happens if the ECV doesn't work, and our tiny baby decides upright is how she'd rather stay?
"Then you'd come in for a caesarean".
Are you fucking kidding me??
"What if the baby is bottom first, as in the bottom is the presenting part"
"You should still come in for a caesarean - the results of the Term Breech Trial BLABLABLA"
(let's ignore the fact that the TBT was skewed and flawed and has been widely criticised for its methodology and conclusions)
"I'd rather go into labour naturally and try to deliver her breech if she's bottom first"
"Well, I SUPPOSE you could have a trial by labour, it would depend on the doctor"
AH, so there ARE options? Not just a caesarean? If I didn't know anything about the subject I would have nodded my head and signed up for a c/s then and there. How can they possibly think that it's OK to only offer one option when more exist? I'm pretty mad. I'm considering finding a private obstetrician who will agree to deliver a breech vaginally. But urgh. Just urgh. It used to be normal to deliver a breech vaginally, now it's a speciality because people listened to one trial that said c/s was a safer method of delivery than vaginal.
The whole thing is making me tired. She couldn't even tell where Pod's head was without using ultrasound! I tried telling her exactly where it was, but why believe me? Surely better to do ANOTHER scan.
We have another growth scan in 2 weeks and an appointment with yet another consultant 2 days later. In the meantime, I'm going to keep standing on my head and I'll also give acupuncture a whirl. Not entirely sure how burning moxa sticks next to my little toes is going to help, but it can't hurt. Our hypnobirthing teacher is going to bring some extra info over tonight and go through some options with us. Fat waste of time and money that will be if they cut me open, but whatever. It's quite calming I suppose (plus HN1 is taking part which is super super cute).
It was our wedding anniversary at the weekend, he bought me a necklace with a heart pendant with the chemical structure for oxytocin (the love hormone) engraved on it. See? Super cute.